Memories By Inner Light

I don't like storms....i'm terrified of them. How do  I know? I cried the whole way home driving through one b/c i was terrfied outta my livin beegeeezers that a tree was just gonna crush me and mah little car.....

Goodness i'm tired...and tomorrow is gonna be longer than today....my my...*sigh*....I have to pick stuff up first thing b4 work, and then i have to go to work and THEN go to other work....and then pass out, preferably at my home. ...

Road trip? Overnight? Neg. Negativo...not happening....nadie...i knew this weeks ago...but....i'm not going to say i told u so...firstly b/c i'm kinda sad about it...secondly...i'm kinda just trying to cut my losses. Consolation prize? "Day Trip"  My romantic visions of Al and I curling up together on the couch, or walking along the private beach late at night...just poofed in a big black cloud of "blehhness...." egads....

Work is going well...i had a GINORMOUS stack of cases today..I got about 65% done...*thinks of the thickish 35% not done* *weeps*....meh....not cool....and i know that the office manager is gonna give me a NEW stack....tomorrow morning....good god...not cool...

I'm still sick...i hate infections....and i want ibuprofen...in fact i'm gonna take two now.....yesh two ibuprofen before bed! That being said....I am going to bed....

Today is the first day of April, looking back on my post sched. for march i realized that I WAS TWO SHORT OF A PERFECT MONTH!!!! *weeps* i was so aiming for it...*sigh* haha o well, that just means i'll try extra hard this month. Hopefully it'll be a little easier for me to since everything's gonna start winding down towards finals.

I'm exhausted. There really is only one word (i think) that describes the weather today....clammy....it feels like a giagantic clammy hand wrapped around me constantly and it's....really sweaty and gross (not me...the atmosphere). Today I will be job hunting more, i scouted places yesterday but didn't pick up any applications. I'm weighing my options and trying to decide where i'm going to be most comfortable..

I've started watching heroes again. For w/e reason I randomly watched the first couple episodes of the second season and now i'm looking to catch up where i left off in the first season. ....I'm addicted again...

I have a persuasive speech due tomorrow and I've done none of it. I at least have my sources picked out.

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I just got in. and we had to walk back to the parking deck b/c waiting was....ridiculous. There were i kid you not easily ten yellow school buses and more on the way clogging up our station so heather and i looked at each other and shrugged.

fifteen minutes later i was frizzy haired soggy and feeling clammy and got in my car ans drove home. Now I've set up some of my work and i really should finish it so i'm gonna do that.

*yawns*
*stretches*
Laterz peeples!
~T.

    Oh my god. My professor....is insane.....and...extremely jaded. -_____-.....so so so freakishly.....*mouth's open* i have no idea what word to use to describe this man's psychology....twisted...with a touch of sexual harassment....i think that's apt.

He just said something that I can't repeat, mostly bc i'm just trying to forget about it as quickly as possible.

and today as the saga of the permanent marker. Actually, this saga started *unbeknownst* to us, on Friday in class. Prof. T, wrote all over half of the board with a PERMANENT marker.  SO we get back to class today and ALL of our notes from Friday are STILL on the board. So we come in and i overhear one of the other students was talking about how he had a class in here and his professor was flipping out about the notes being in permanent marker.

So when Prof. T. comes in he's delighted that the notes are still there....until he tries to erase it.....then we tel him about the permanent marker and he just kinda shrugs it off and tries to place the blame on "modern technology"...i.e. a dry erase board and marker.....-___-...
so Then! he goes to write on the board with the SAME marker he was using on Friday *facepalm*...so a brave soul speaks up and tells him...and then he finally finds an actual dry erase marker and the class proceeds on as normally as possible...barring that CRAZY comment he made before....O.O....he's crazy! that's what it is! hahaha

O well!

Note to self:

FILL YOUR TANK ON THE WAY HOME OR YOUR CAR WILL STOP WORKING!!!!!

okay,, hopefully it'll sink in this time hahaha.

Tonight, i'm SUPPOSED to have a walk with al, but i'm not really gonna hold my breath, we haven't had one in two weeks, and he's been really busy lately. So...it won't surprise me if we can't today. I was a little dissapointed the last two weeks, but i'm just learning to step back and make myself scarce when he needs time. So yesterday, i wasn't upset at all. I missed him, but i wasn't upset....

It's just for the next two years. Then stuff should relax a bit *hopefully* i don't expect it to go back to the way it used to be...but i expect a maturer romantic sensibility. Not that we'll be less romantic...hopefully we'll be more so. Just something a little more grown up..more focused on the long term goals. It wll be great! Once we get there ^_^. I can wait as long as he needs me to.

*sigh* i should really pay more attention haha...so i'm gonna go.

laterz!
~T

I saw a man get hit today. By a car. Run over actually. He lay for an hour and a half in the road as snow fell around him, screaming, as the police and the paramedics and the emergency people scurried around him shouting yelling at one another...but nothing...no sound could possibly drown out the agonizing sound of his screaming. It cut through every wall I had put up to block it out, and shook me to my very core. A grown man, almost thirty, screaming? Like a little kid with a skinned knee...although it wasn't a skinned knee. It was nothing that mom could kiss and make better. His legs were horribly mangled and while one leg looked ok, the other was twisted around the normal one like a ribbon....and his hat had flown off in front of a poor young woman who had seen the accident. She stood there next to her car and stared as chaos erupted around her.

Still he screamed...on and on. I knew him. He was a really nice guy. He pumps gas at the station across the street from the restaurant. Really nice...and he had been trying to help stop traffic so that a big truck that had come to deliver gas could get out and not have an accident...I guess sometimes it just happens....

I can still hear him crying now, crying....sobbing, calling out in agony....It happened hours ago, but I can't shake the chill that ran down my back when I realized it could have been me...or worse someone I love. Chris the Iced Tea Guy tried really hard to distract me, he asked me about my boyfriend and about my life. He told me he had a “hot date” which was meeting a girl from his apartment complex in the laundromat for coffee as they did their laundry and discussed life. I think I listened. Everything after the accident kind of put me in a daze. I was jittery and my hearing would just fade in and out. I felt sick to my stomach and terrified of getting in my car. All sense of delicacy was lost as I dropped plates into the sink and furiously scrubbed at the food remnants hoping it would wipe away, wash away the horrible screeching...

I think Andy sensed something wrong with me because he said very little to me...or maybe he was just as deeply effected as I was....I left in a stupor and carefully made my way to my car...i stopped at the high school to check up on Al, but he didn't need a ride so I just made my way home.

It surprised me how many people reacted nonchalantly to the whole business....to them was it just meaningless because no one they knew had been effected? Or because they hadn't seen him? Or heard his crying? It is a cold cruel place outside....people have become like snow, falling to the ground piling up everywhere oblivious to the bodies of their comrades underneath them. What they never realize is that we all melt...we all...melt.