Memories By Inner Light

okay! today stunk! my car broke again!

that's it! I'm taking out loans! I'm taking out loans and buying myself a mini cooper! I'm getting a mini cooper and I'm getting one that I want. I'm sick of living my life going from crisis to crisis.

I was DRIVING and the thing STALLED OUT WHILE I WAS DRIVING...and then freakin just KEELED OVER and DIED....and i'd just put a new battery and alternator into the sucker....because of this development i had to rely on dad...who was anything BUT helpful. He wanted to leave my car in an illegal parking zone with the hazards on for 5 HOURS while he goes and does his piano lessons...yea sure not happening.

so i get home, okay so i didnt have to go to my appointment which i was kinda looking forward to after i dragged myself out of bed got dressed and went through the trouble of getting underway. first thing

second thing-cars dead...again...had plans...it's like an instant plan killer. car goes belly up...and so goes my social life.

third thing-dad...apart from being not helpful he had the gumption to say stuff to me like, "Well i can't help you! I'm late for all this stuff!" aka "Yea i know this is an emergency but it's just too short notice for me, I couldn't possibly put something of mine on the backburner to help you out of a really bad totally accidental spot." and then he offered me a ride home which i refused three times until I finally grudgingly accepted not because i wanted any favors but because it was cold and I had dressed too lightly...because my new coat ripped because of some jerk being in a rush but that was yesterday's crisis so it's got nothing to do with this.

fourth thing- my brother. I'm all excited now b/c julian had said we would hang out, watch some house and maybe hang out at al's tonite. but when i get home he says well he made plans with a friend and will be leaving at 1ish. *sigh* ok, i'm glad the kids getting out with some friends after all I'm his geeky sister it's not as fun as hanging with the guys. Idm so much about that but it meant that julian would go out and i would be here...pretty much alone.Now i really wanna hang out with Al tonite

fifth thing- my uncle calls me short notice from work and is in a bind, it seems that a friend of his is offering my aunt a huge business deal through her hotel and they are going to dinner to try to solidify and close this deal. So we all get that this is super majorly important right? Ooopsies...no babysitter... well if you've got plans you can tell ur brother and he could do it...whoops? julian not available...i'm the only one who has any time to burn and barely a plan for tonite there is no reason for me to say no...and it's family and a big financial deal....so i say yes...*scratches plans with Al off the list*...*sigh* *falls over into a mushy emotional pile of...well mush...*

things are starting to look a little bit better now tho...i finagled some time with al between now and 6:30 and I may just call my uncle and ask if al,and my mom come over so we can continue to hang out a bit and keep the boys interested.

sounds good yea? well in theory it looks okay we'll see how it all works out...i'm 0-5 right about now...

How it would be
If we were together
Let's pretend that you're far away
Let's say you'll write to me
And you promise in your letter
That you'll come home
Come home to my heart
When you come home
We'll never be apart
If I keep dreaming of you
Start believing its true
Soon you'll come home
Soon you'll come home
Soon you'll come home
Home to my heart
If I believe
~ Soon you'll come Home-Judith Barsi-All Dogs Go to Heaven

I found that song on Youtube last night and have been listening to it. I also found out that the little girl who sings it, was brutally murdered by her own father...which made me cry. It also turns out that the little girl's last movie was The Land Before TIme, where she played Ducky. made me cry again.

I'm kinda putting off studying for my Hiragana quiz for as long as I can mostly because the longer i wiat the more opportunity i'll have to actually RETAIN this information. I'm a little nervous to be honest.

It's so nasty out. It's the kind of day that make you wish you were snuggling with someone you love.

I'm a little depressed today. Nothing serious just my own inability to do wonderful things for people I love, mostly because of funds. Which I find really frustrating because....I work damn hard. This time that I'm taking now is the ONLY time I'll have right now.

Sometimes i feel like...i want to rush and slow down at the same time. I want to discover things and others i want to never find out.  Today's a day like that.

There's only so much i can expect and...for now...i'm resolving the situation within me. I'll see what happens...that's all i CAN do right now.

I gotta do some work i just remembered. (small suprise eh?)

Laterz
 

I'm not ready to go back...i don't want to...

 

and....I'm going to be 19 come Monday the 8th.

 

Sociology tomorrow morning...at least i hear the prof is good.....I'd better take my computer for notes.

I don't want to go....

Goodnight