Memories By Inner Light

Note the above Key term that i'm staring at in my sociology class at this moment. Class hasn't started yet. Students are still trickling in slower and slower as the room slowly fills up.

It makes you wonder whether EVERYONE is looking for their own social fit. Maybe some people (i'd like to think of myself as one of these people) who really isn't LOOKING for a fit. They just kinda want to live, unimpeded and graciously unintterupted.

Perhaps it is that thought in itslef that causes 'the search" however i am skeptical. Profs here gotta fly!


Later!

Okay so sociology won't be anything to worry about. It's awesomeness. The professor is great and it looks like it'll be worth the time and effort. This is good. Now, Today i have math (dun da dun dun DUUUUUUN), bio lab, bio class and won't b off campus until 5......*sobs* anyway, friday i'll be outta there by 3 so it won't be too much of a big deal.

Then i get to see al for a bit! Today he has band. He seems to be kinda busy so i don't want to bother him this morning. 

Right now i'm printing up my employment forms for MSU, one of the things i have to do today is drop them off.
Hnn Shall i make a list? why not?!:

1.) Speech book for Heather
2.) Paperwork for Work
3.) Sociology Paper/Reading
4.)Speak to college hall about transcripts.
5.) Of course the classes themselves.
6>) Maybe try to join choir for a semester. idk about that one yet.

O wells I gotta take care of some quickie chores.
  
Chao

I'm not ready to go back...i don't want to...

 

and....I'm going to be 19 come Monday the 8th.

 

Sociology tomorrow morning...at least i hear the prof is good.....I'd better take my computer for notes.

I don't want to go....

Goodnight
 

That i've not been able to squeeze one post in for most of august...that...is a disturbing reminder of just how freakin busy it's been around here.

That being said, in-btwn exhales i have come to realize that the summer is almost OVER D: NOOOOOOOOOO! On the other hand i'm still excited for my classes Nipon Onegai! Arigato go dai masu! (woo!! hopefully you can tell i've been studying). Anyway stuff with my family has been deteriorating lately....i'm feeling like i'm no longer a member and stuff....just that they stopped asking me about things and including me. I mean yes, I may say "No, I can't." or "No you can have that." But honestly....i would really like to HAVE that option rather than people just assuming and ignoring my existence.

This weekend is an excellent example of that, but i really don't have the paitence to go into details.

O! I got a job through MSU and I'll be able to keep the one that I have now. yay! The MSU one is being a notetaker for one of the deaf students in my sociology class. They'll pay me 100 dollars at the end of the semester! Woo! Party money for christmas!!! yayness!

Hopefully by then I'll know where the heck Al's going...and marching band will be over, and some issues I have to deal with will be over. Good lord Christmas is gonna be a godsend (no pun intended) this year. It'll mean everything will finally be settling down the future will be less hazy and life in general is going to get a little more stable for me which is awesome.

Speaking of MSU....*trying to remain calm* PARKING WAS A F(#$&*(@#%&$@(%#$@ FIASCO! OH.MAH. GOURDS!  WE WAITED 3 F(^(@%#(*@&%# HOURS! They swiped one person's credit card. That person leaves all happy. *beaming beaming beaming* BUT THEY BROKE THE CREDIT CARD SWIPEY MACHINE! Not only that to make matters worse, at the EXACT same time the parking website goes F^&)#^)*@&^#*&@ BONKERS! God that timing really really really stunk.  So you've got an angry mob who's tired and cranky outside, and you have an angry electronic mob calling in demanding to know WHY the website is down. It was a circus! An absolute freak show of ginormous proportions. I'm just glad we got there early and were at the head of the line.

...

My mom just cam in and pissed me off.

Considering what just happened at here I'm going to give you a brief summary:
 

My mom has this really bad habit of NOT just DOING what i asked her. I'm a forgetful person. I get distracted and sidetracked fromt stuff and it's REALLY hard for me to remember sometimes even IMPORTANT things and  it's just how i'm built, but I asked my mom YESTERDAY if she wouldn't mind making a LIST, a physical LIST on a piece of paper with you know, writing  on it...in LIST form. She procedes to tell me to "Remember you have to do blah blah blah blah and blah." and then just sits there blinking at me. I turned to her and said, "Great! It's Midnight! I'm not gonna remember (see up there^ I didn't!) LIST! PLEASE!" SO she says, "OKAY! But you STILL have to do Blah blah blah blah  and blah."
O.o....
*facepalm*...are you kidding me?

So i said, "I'm not going to remember if you  don't LIST THEM! ON PAPER! WITH A WRITING UTENSIL!"

Finally my mom says, "OKAY! FINE! I'll WRITE YOU A LIST!"

Me: "GREAT! GOING TO BED!"

*fast forward to this morning*
(I'd started what i COULD remember i.e. cleaning my room. and showed my mom my progress)
Side note: my mom will try to get OUT of writing my lists by spoon feeding me verbally what i have to do next like some over grown toddler in a highchair named "Chores".
Mom says: "Great! Not perfect but much better (she always says that btw...even when you could eat off of every orafice surface and you're blided by the shine of cleaness. that's a different buggaboo)"
Me: "Thanks!"
Mom: "Now therese next you need to remember to do the bathroom."
Me: *eyes popping out of skull* NO! FOGETTABOUTIT! NO! NO! NO!"
Mom: "What are you talking about!?"
Me:"Mom...i'm going to say this...twice...I NEED A LIST! WRITE THE DAMN LIST DOWN!"
Mom: "But you still need to clean the bathroom..."
Me: *close to having a coniption* I FREAKING KNOW THAT! I JUST WANT  A LIST?! MAY I PLEASE HAVE A LIST!?! IS THAT SO MUC H TO  ASK?? WHY? WHY? WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT?! I CAN GARUNTEE YOU THAT THE WORK WILL GET DONE IF YOU GIVE ME ONE! 
CAN"T I PLEASE JUST HAVE A STUPID LIST?!
Mom:"Okay! I'll write a list"
*meanwhile I've passed out frothing at the mouth with my pupils dialated*....love you too mom....love you too....

It remains to be seen if i'll actually get one.....(mom hasn't come back with paper that looks like a list......*nervous*)

Ah! yes...life is wonderful I'm gonna go clean now.....
kbie
 

 

I can't honestly remember sitting still for very long at all this weekend. Between going to courts, dinner with al's family, church, then movies then coming home and gettign ready for bed there's been soo much going on and i actually liked it. I liked being in the rush for once instead of standing outside and watching it whirl around others while leaving me out.

Actually i have to call someone about workign today so I can't type long, just long enough to say HappY monday and...o crap I have another speech to do!!! and it's Due wed! Crud.

O well it'll be a quickie!

FIVE WEEKS LEFT UNTIL SUMMER BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!

*WHOOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

*dances happyness*

Laterz

I really like the campus here. Court and i hung out with her friends until around 11:30ish. Then we came back here and had a sisterly heart-to-heart. I missed those alot since she went away to school. I said some prayers before i slept and then i woke up around 8:30 and texted al for a litle bit. Everything's quieter here and alot less rushed, there seems to be time to do anything and everything just kinda takes it's own pace. I really like that. Really really like that.

her friends are sweet and we had fun. We watched Save the Last Dance and then talked intermittently of funny random things and then looks up weird videos on YouTube. haha.

Today Court and I (and maybe some of the girls) will be going into the town for some shopping and hangout picture times. ^_^

I should get dressed and start moving haha.

Laterz Peeps!
~T.

i made it here safely and in one piece hit only a little traffic and then got together and went out to dinner. Loving the people here and the campus is G-O-R-EGEOUS!!!!!!! 

Gotta go! Eastern Awaits!!

*sigh* today is...a so-so day. I got to bed really late after i posted, around 3ish, and then idk when i fell asleep but it wasn't enough time and so i skipped Philosophy today and then just showed up for Speech and writing. I'm sitting in my speech room now and i'm still exhausted...and i  have work...o joy.

on my way here i almost drowned ona mouthful of water, sprayed body spray in my mouth and my eye accidently,dropped my writing textbook on my foot, nearly fell down my front stoop and finally made it to my car with after hitting the scab on my right knee...i haven't checked it yet hopefully it'll be fine, and not be bleeding all over my work pants.

Despite the craziness and my penchant for being accident prone, today is remarkably laid back...there's nothing tense about it...which is weird...in a refreshing sort of way. Break is almost here b/c today is almost over and then all i have is film and Hari Kiri Friday. Two days...let's hope i survive them and think positively.

I'm gonna do my best today. I've been working really hard and NOTHING is gonna keep me down today. I'm just...not gonna quit. There is no giving up, no second guessing. I'm just gonna keep moving forward. Suck it up and keep on truckin'...i think that's kinda along the same vein as "Seize the Day".


My essay...prolly sucks...i don't think i got the whole format down AT ALL so i sent her an electronic copy and asked for her mercy and feedback. *sigh* no replies yet...she prolly won't say anything....my mindset isn't the greatest but i'm fighting it ^_^ *smile* so i should be ok in a little bit...until i get to work at least *weak laugh*

>.> *notices finger is bleeding*...o wow, i didn't even feel that haha. It's a cuticle thing haha nothing really to worry about.

Anyone wanna go to the circus with me and my fam on March 29th 7:30 Pm?
We probably wouldn't be sitting with my family since they ordered only enough tickets for my parents and my brother and his gf. but it'd be cool to go into the city with them no? I think it'd be fun *shrugs* lemme know what you think.

I gotta go, the speech midterm awaiteth.

~T.

    Oh my god. My professor....is insane.....and...extremely jaded. -_____-.....so so so freakishly.....*mouth's open* i have no idea what word to use to describe this man's psychology....twisted...with a touch of sexual harassment....i think that's apt.

He just said something that I can't repeat, mostly bc i'm just trying to forget about it as quickly as possible.

and today as the saga of the permanent marker. Actually, this saga started *unbeknownst* to us, on Friday in class. Prof. T, wrote all over half of the board with a PERMANENT marker.  SO we get back to class today and ALL of our notes from Friday are STILL on the board. So we come in and i overhear one of the other students was talking about how he had a class in here and his professor was flipping out about the notes being in permanent marker.

So when Prof. T. comes in he's delighted that the notes are still there....until he tries to erase it.....then we tel him about the permanent marker and he just kinda shrugs it off and tries to place the blame on "modern technology"...i.e. a dry erase board and marker.....-___-...
so Then! he goes to write on the board with the SAME marker he was using on Friday *facepalm*...so a brave soul speaks up and tells him...and then he finally finds an actual dry erase marker and the class proceeds on as normally as possible...barring that CRAZY comment he made before....O.O....he's crazy! that's what it is! hahaha

O well!

Note to self:

FILL YOUR TANK ON THE WAY HOME OR YOUR CAR WILL STOP WORKING!!!!!

okay,, hopefully it'll sink in this time hahaha.

Tonight, i'm SUPPOSED to have a walk with al, but i'm not really gonna hold my breath, we haven't had one in two weeks, and he's been really busy lately. So...it won't surprise me if we can't today. I was a little dissapointed the last two weeks, but i'm just learning to step back and make myself scarce when he needs time. So yesterday, i wasn't upset at all. I missed him, but i wasn't upset....

It's just for the next two years. Then stuff should relax a bit *hopefully* i don't expect it to go back to the way it used to be...but i expect a maturer romantic sensibility. Not that we'll be less romantic...hopefully we'll be more so. Just something a little more grown up..more focused on the long term goals. It wll be great! Once we get there ^_^. I can wait as long as he needs me to.

*sigh* i should really pay more attention haha...so i'm gonna go.

laterz!
~T

I'm in Roman Civ.
We just got thrown out of our room.
My Professor argued with the guy.

He's pissed....

really pissed.

But no matter spring is on it's way and I am psyched about this. I walked outside and DIDN"T need a coat today. The air carried that mossy new smell that I love so much.

today al is taking hspas i'm happy for him.It's not too difficult and i'm sure he'll do fine. I might be seeing court today! she's back from Eastern U. for spring break. hopefully I'll be able to see her today or thursday. Miss her like crazy.

Then tonite, Al and i are going for our walk and then when i get in i have to write my paper for writing. -___-...i move that we allow those who will give GOOD peer reviews to be certified as Peer Reviewers...my peer review was miserable this time. and i really make sure i help give lots of feedback and constructive criticism. We all know that you NEVER ever ever put contractions in a formal paper. BUT when i got MY paper back from my  peer reviewer i got something like this:

"doesn't"
does not blah bla blah

And so on and so forth throughout the WHOLE paper. Things that were being crossed out that were right while glaring grammar mistakes were all passed over. this doesn't help...AT ALL withe the final draft process.*head thuds on desk*

anyways this morning there was tons of traffic.  and i really needed gas for my car and it was just a blur of rushing and flying hither and thither.

i'm kinda tired. i think i'lll wrap up with this today and tell you about my hiding from the garbage men this morning later haha.

~Toodles~

~T.

COLLEGE!!!!! This is my first post from college, in fact I'm sitting in the library in the computer lab kinda just wsting time before class starts. 

O! This morning i did manage to prove that  you don't need to be hyper to do stupid things. Last night i was so exhausted that I grabbed what I thought was my stuffed bear (yes, I do. B/c it's comfy~!) and this morning i woke up and realized I grabbed my yeti slipper instead....kinda funny...kinda sad...i couldn't even tell the difference btwn my slipper and a bear....-_____-.....

Today is Definately a yeti slipper day. it's getting colder outside and the mornings are creaky and chilly. 

Class is gonna start soon gotta go!

~T.  

The last two days went racing past so quickly that it took me until this morning in psych to realize that i hadn't posted...more importantly that i should post so everyone knows i'm alive haha. 

Goosey Night was...kinda not too hot. but Halloween turned out awesome. we trick-or-treated throughout my old haunts (no pun intended but implied ^_^) and got loads of candy. The best part was knowing that a year prior i had been so nervous and scared and shy i could barely make eye contact with Al and now it's coming up on our one year Anniversary. It's so excting ^_^

Today was...bleh....it's one of those transitional days btwn and after holidays that everyone would be very happy about if suddenly they didn't exsist. but in the case of reality, they do and as a result i was rather cranky especially about getting up extra early for psych when i had walked about four miles the night before and every bone in my body was cursing me for my lack of excercise hitherto Halloween. 

Yea, the subject we're covering right now in psych is sleep and dreaming. and it is very interesting, it makes me yawn alot,.....which is kinda weird but w/e. I found out that i am sleep deprived (officially now, mind you, before then i thought it was just destined to sleep my life away....go figure). They had a checklist in my book about about 15 things that kinda were like this:

If you need an alarm clock to wake up
If you are grumpy in the mornings
If you feel tired throughout the day
If you hit the snooze button multiple times before you get up
If you struggle to wake up and stay awake.
yatta....yatta...yatta....
and I was sitting there with my pencil going, *check* *check* *check*...um, *def. check* *check check*  i get down to the bottom of the page and it says, "if you checked 3 or more of these you are suffering from sleep deprivation."
I was.....-______-......"No really, sherlock, tell me something i don't know." so it did. It told me that i need to go to bed 15 minutes earlier I usually do for the whole week and then add another 15 minutes the next week and so on until I feel completely rested and I do not have to struggle to wake up in the morning. neat stuff...if icould remember exactly what time i usually go to bed around....since...it fluctuates (which as I read in my almighty texbook is also a bad thing...*sheesh*)  so i guess i'll try and try that starting next week. *schlumps over*

I also learned that I am an abnormal freak (i mean...erm, more abnormally freakish than i orignally thought.) mostly b.c i have crazy ass dreams that are NOTHING like what most scientists and researchers documented in NORMAL people.....so I'm resigned to my fate as a freak dreamer (a FREAMER!!! yay!) I often have dreams where i die (like all the way get shot and die die), where i know NO one in the dream, i am not in the dream at all, I'm watching two people like a movie, or I am a different person entirely....supposedly that's not normal at all....wooo me. hahaha

Anyhooo...............*awkward silence*.....work was poop today. I didn't like it much. boring and nasty....ok tips but the boss was his usual cranky self. Yesterday he took Valium before going to the doctors so he was all goofy and loopy and random and it was funny b/c he's usually so cranky...well today he made up for it....*grrrs*

That's my day...tomorrow doesn't look so hot either but i'll give it a blast anyway haha.

Nitey Nite
~T bird

This morning i discovered my car has an alarm.....the hard way. I got into my car sat down, touched the knob of the radio before turning the  car on and

WEEEEOOOOOWWWWEEEEEOOOOOO WWEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Meanwhile I'm sitting in my car screaming like a maniac b/c it scared the crap out of me. I'm just sittin there in my drivers seat:

OH MY GOD! WHAT DID I DO! OMG! AAAAAAAHHHHH WHAT DID I DO! MAKE IT STOP!!!! AAAHHH HOW DO I TURN IT OFF! I"M SORRY I"M SORRY!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!

meanwhile my nextdoor neighbor is coming out of his house and he sees this. I can only imagine what he thought hahaha.It was so funny in retrospect. but...haha at the time it certainly woke me up from the stupor i'd been in....

BRRRR it was FREEEZING today on campus!!!! I froze my tush off! (LITERALLY!) I had my psych midterm today...I'm eh about it, I don't know how i did, but I know that i studied and then i look at the test and my brain went....O.O.....*wind whistling* *tumbleweeds rolling*....*crickets*......But we got outta there  nice and early so a friend of mine and I grabbed a quick hot coco and bumped into heather on our way.

Went to class, sat through mythology. it was fun and cool and everything, got out, met up with heather grabbed some junk food (now i wish i'd eaten a sandwhich.....) and sat chit-chatting for a little while, until we bumped into some guy from Elizabeth H.S. who happened to overhear our convo about MB. Funny how where ever you go you end up meeting up with people who were in MB. I'm beginning to believe that everyone is a closet band geek at heart...or you're the cold plastic type...and you don't need one so it all works out.

Then we had to stop at webster hall to fix her cell. and we were coming out of the student center and she gets WEDGED IN THE REVOLVING DOOR!!!!!! My heart almost stopped beating! I just see her laughing  with half her body btwn the door and half still in the student center and i went "OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" (we had a previous close call and from then on i knew it was only a matter of time before it actually happened, but i was still totally unprepared for it to happen today...which would explain my reaction. -____-'''''')

BUT! The best part of my day was def. seeing the bf after school. It was nice and he was in a pretty good mood so that put me in an awesome mood. He's def. happier which makes me happy too.

SUNDAY IS OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATIONS!

Just thought i'd throw that out there

O! I gotta run to babysitting Money for the broke college girl!! yay!
Toodles
~T.

This is probably the longest...boringest, and just mangiest weekend to date (yes i did call it mangy). The bf has gone to Syracuse........ T_T

I told myself, I would only cry once this weekend or not at all, so i've been feverishly wasting my time to keep my mind off of thinking, "If i had just one extra year we could have been up there this year together." I played video games, i sent people tons of stuff on facebook, i slept, took meds...felt sick...sat in the car for two hours waiting for my dad to finish up talking about the music for tomorrow's mass with our pastor. Watched the rain, listened to perky music. Ate...petted my cats...put on layers b/c i was cold...took off layers b/c i was hot, looked at my halloween costume. Thought about some devious plans, played with my cell phone...dropped my cell phone. got laughed at by my dad b/c he was making my headache worse...-_____-.... and i'm doing pretty well, it's 3:21, and hopefully...i won't run out of things to do.....thought after i post here...i'm not so sure....i'll be able to think of anything else.

Well I'll update y'all on my life thus far and we'll see how far we go. Thursday. Was the big pumpkin carving bash. Got meh costume. Al got parts of his (he's being a leprecaun hunter b/c his friends asked him too...i think they're the leprecauns...idrk...) ANYHOO i went to the doctors that morning and was there for three hours. mostly just waiting. But when they finally examined me it took every ounce of self control to keep me from howling. (speaking of which did you check out the new layout for Halloween?) sooo much pain AND it was really uncomfortable. Nothing i want to go again anytime soon. They took blood which made my arm hurt (they had to poke around for the vein a bit....yeeeowch). After they took blood i got dizzy and my arm ached like heck but it wasn't until i started carving my pumpkin that it really acted up. I was so exhausted thursday nite i just went right to bed after dropping the bf home.

Friday! Was borning. math was boring, writing was funny but i think i was going through some sort of medication withdrawl b/c i had to come off that Sudafed times 10 medication and i didn't take it that morning cause i wasn't supposed to and I just got chills and a splitting headache. It was bad news. Made worse by bright light and moving around, so pretty much, I would have done better living under a rock for that day. Work was uber slow which i was kinda grateful for even though the cash wasn't too great.

O! I need to post my animated short for this week. Kinda cool just in time for halloween ^_^



Enjoy!

I gotta go do something constructive....like chores or something....-____-''