Memories By Inner Light

I'm so happy that today is the beginning of the weekend!

I've been slogging through the entire week for this day. I got to see al for a bit which was awseome ( didnt have enough time with him but i NEVER have enough time with him) he's out with the guys now.

I should be working on my paper.

In fact I am working on my paper...just not making much headway...i have to think on it...

*toddles off to work*

I'm just a little bit irritated today. Idk why I feel like just screaming. Maybe yesterday has got something to do with it. I really just want to go home and not deal with people today.

Chinese civ was snooze worthy this morning, Anthro we're watching another movie and yes, while i find it fascinating, it's still snooze worthy just because it's the last class i have to day. and then everyone around me (calluna, and miroku EXCLUDED) from this bunch) is just getting on my nerves. There's not a day goes by where I don't come under fire for one thing or another. No one is just cool with me lately.

my mom's hung up on the fact that i don't eat as much as i used to. Now i'm anorexic. She is convinced that if i can't eat the contents of the fridge in one sitting or i just don't feel the need to constantly stuff my face that now there's something wrong with me and that i'm skipping meals purposely to lose weight, idk how many times i've told her this, but i just don't eat when i'm not hungry....that's it. REALLY!

so first i'm constantly being told that i'm heavy and need to lose weight and then i'm anorexic? something doesn't make sense to me.

and then just...fighting, i'm tired of fighthing, i'm tired of the battles...

i want school to be over, i want summer to come.i slept for 16 straight hours last night...and still feel tired....its not even physical exhaustion its emotional strain, and mental exhaustion...


*sigh* at least by the end of this week i'll know where i'm going to school next semester.

in anthro watching about hinduism..peace out

Sooooooo

i actually dont have much to say today. I was going for irony with the title to be honest.
I'm sitting in medical terminology and just barely scraping by with semiconsciousness... She's going over the words that are RIGHT IN THE BOOK....teach me something outside of the book, outside the box, just OUTSIDE OF SOMETHING THAT I CAN STUDY ON MY OWN...in the comfort of my lair.

*wishing I was curled up in my lair*

I have possibly THE WORST seat in the classroom today. I needed a plug to make sure my laptop would charge since the class is 2 1/2 hours and all i really want to do is sleep.

And then i have stuff this afternoon...i wouldn't mind going so much if i wasn't so exhausted, i feel like i don't participate well enough when i'm nodding off...it's not like i matter much there anyway, i generally end up being ignored. Which stinks like a baboons backside.

SO yea not thrilled today.

on the bright side there may be tacos tonight...which would balance out the rest of this mess.

it's just so blah today...gray sky, gray faces,everyone is dying on the outside, school is sucking us dry. I have put a mental block on the two papers that i need to write and they just really need to get done, so now i'm going to officialy put them ON A LIST!! Drum rooooolllll please!

1.) LIT ESSAY!
2.)CHINESE CIV ESSAY!

*yawns* oooo sudden bagel craving....

P.S. I'll be sending my deposits and paperwork to a school by the end of this week *sigh of relief*

P.P.S. GOT A TWITTER

P.P.P.S I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH IT! XD

so tired.....ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

I've hurtled over the bulk of Holy Week with nary a scrape or a scratch. We're coming up on Easter (tomorrow) and I've noticed that the one thing about hurtling is that...it's exhausting....

BUT! I have started this masterful book called "The Anatomy of Story" by John Truby and it is...almost a religious experience for a writer like myself. It is so interesting and the points that he makes are so GOOD that i just wanna pour through the whole 400 pages AND write feverishly on my ideas at the same time...it's so hard to hold back /o.o\.. *writing headaches have been resurrected*....*writers block has been rolled away from the musty sarcophogous that is my imagination, and on the third try it has RISEN! REJOICE!*

*ahem* i'm getting a little carried away, at any rate, I love this book and even if you don't write you should read it to know what constitutes a good story and what is crap! So you won't go out and by non sensical nothingness that causes brain rot. :D demand high quality fiction people! I don't necessarily mean stuff like David Copperfield or even stuff like Lord of the Rings, i just mean GOOD stories. they don't all have to works of art, a stories main purpose is to entertain and give information. Try to find one that will really satisfy you!

And with that little sermon, I will toddle off to read some more when i should be paying attention to studying for Chinese Civ >.>.....hee hee

I got up at 5:15...it has to be towards the end of the semester...i get up on time and somehow I still manage to leave uber late to get to school. -_____-

I just managed to get here in time literally with two minutes to spare. You already know how i feel about the shuttle system so if i say that it was mostly the stupid shuttle's fault you'll know what i mean. if not please look for my post on it, it's a few posts down or so haha.

Palm Sunday *gratefully* went without much of a hitch.

I'm exhausted though but i have rehearsals all week and then church thursday and friday. but technically I'll be AT the church Tuesday (today) Thursday early, Thursday Late, Friday, and then Sunday....*sigh* AND I'm going to have to go to my local parish to get the food blessed with mom maybe...or maybe we have rehearsal on Saturday too...eek...*is gonna diiie* AND i need to get to confessions....maybe today I can take Al with me this afternoon.

I'm super hungry.....

and bored...the prof is rambling for a bit and I'm trying to keep from nodding off...

i'm also cold...very cold....*sigh*

i wanna bagel or cup of noodles or something...i need fooooood! mom's making me lunch so i just gotta take care of brekkie on my own...i think cup o noodles is a good idea. yum!

It's supposed to rain again and i left my umbrella in my car....FAIL!

it's too cold for spring...i need another 70 degree day....

i'm complaining aren't i? i think i'm gonna stop. It is Holy Week after all, it's good to practice some humility and paitence.

Anyway notes time!

It's our anniversary today! Almost two and a half years! :D weee!

Now i have to finish the work i've been putting off. haha

It's 7:36...i swore that i would sleep in today. But this is my third and final attempt at rolling over and going back to sleep...FAIL...

Idk if i mentioned this but the bf got a job job. I'm pretty sure i did but then again, i was pretty sure that i put my shirt on properly this morning,and it was inside out and backwards....oy.... MOVING ON! Perhaps I didn't mention that the people there (his place of employment) were mean and nasty the first day of work. So much so that he was really upset about going back. But with some prayer and a little bit of luck, work for him yesterday went just fine :D which is good. YAY!

He's got work again tonight and possibly tomorrow.But if he's home as early as he was yesterday that would make me *squee* with happiness...and i never *squee*...without good reason anyway.

Tomorrow is Palm Sunday....O.O...i'm going to preface my next statement with this, I DO LIKE PALM SUNDAY! it's just a ceremonial and a musical nightmare for choir members. While we herd the people in the pews around like sheep, we have to remember all of the songs to sing during the procession and then we have to remember what the priest is gonna do and in the end when we've all passed out from singing for the equivalent of a two hour concert it'll be wonderful, for now, I'm just running over all the potential diastrous EPIC FAILS that can occur and it makes me want to hide under a rock until the procession and distribution of the Palms Ceremony is over....*meep*

O! so I finished the Anime Full Moon Wo Sagashite and i cried....and cried...and cried...wow, I loved that show haha I'll think about buying it when the time comes. First I NEED to get Full Metal Alchemist. Anyhoo, I have alot of cleaning to do in my room so I hafta make like a tree and leaf (hee hee I'm a dork)

Ciao!

So yea. And if i refer people everyone wins so work your magic haha! And thanks to anyone who registers and checks it out :D

I know this has been in effect for a while, but honestly...what is up with the shuttle system. Why is the T route...and the T Route Express DIFFERENT? And why does only the T ROUTE EXPRESS go to the train side of the transit deck???? Is the other side a mere 50 feet from the opposite entrance just not Transit-y enough for the parking and shuttle commission? Frankly, i feel that it is a stupid waste of time...honestly...the system was working beautifully before, why change that? Aren't there more important things to be wasting brain power on...for example...FINDING WAYS TO NOT MAKE PARKING SO FRIGGIN EXPENSIVE? hmmm...just a thought.

*sigh* *shakes head*

O! and what is up with the early morning shuttles? Why is it that they're all marked as "A Route" "T Route" "E All Campus Local" but they ALL ARE E CAMPUS LOCALS!?!?!?! srsly...except for the A routes which pisses me off frankly. The A routes, and A expresses all just whiz on by us poor Transit Commuters and head off to the Village to pick up people who LIVE ON CAMPUS....then they just...ignore us on the way back...while we stand there for a half hour waiting for a fake T or a real E to finally show up.

And then there's that fake 15 minute rule. I timed the shuttle this morning...it took a half hour to get to me..at 6:30am...when there was no traffic....anywhere...wanna know why? because some genius (and i use that word with liberal globs of sarcasm) in the shuttle commission thought that it would be a good idea to have the E NOT STOP AT THE STUDENT CENTER FIRST!...it just boggles the mind. 9.9 out of 10 times....no one gets off OR on in front of Red Hawk Deck. besides...it's the Red hawk Deck! ITS RIGHT SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CAMPUS!!! You can't GET much more ON CAMPUS than that It takes FOREVER for us to walk from the NJ Transit Deck to the MAIN CAMPUS let alone a hall where we may have class while pretty much ANY walk ANYWHERE from the red hawk deck is AT MOST 10 minutes....does anyone else agree that the stupidity evident in our shuttle commission is castration worthy?

Ah, well..i've ranted for today, it was a long time coming but now that i can stand back and see the verbal carnage I feel a bit more at ease.

Now i have to learn music for palm sunday....*oy*....dads cranky *oy oy*...i miss al....*just falls over defeated*

Later peeps!

Today, is the first of april, apirl fools, and while I would love to be out pranking the crap outta my brother and my boyfriend....i am stuck here....in med. term. class.

It's kinda blah day out and it matches my current frame of mind rather nicely. I did well on my myth and lit midterm which is a relief, and i didn't fail my med. term quiz which is even better. All and all I'm of a general frame of mind to just have this year over and done with. It would make me very happy. I've gotten less than 5 hours of sleep since the beginning of this week and looking at what i hope to accomplish tonight into tomorrow it looks like it'll b that way again, but i REALLY HAVE TO DO THIS before and get them in early otherwise I'm just gonna die a thousand painful deaths when I have a bunch of crap all due at once. Besides the Essays for my Anthro class are barely essays, they're like short answers so if i could just finish that pygmie book and figure out where i need to read to get it done by tonight that would be supercalifragilious :D.

Then I have my Chinese Civ Final. I have to do well on it because...it's a final...and if I were to be able to finish THAT ahead of time...that would be expealidociously awesome.

And then i have my appt today...and no offense...i don't wanna go....I'm tired of getting off campus by 5:30 after being here since 7:45 am...i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired...it sounds like i'm complaining but its really just a fact of life for me at this point.

On the bright side i have a really awesome lunch today, stir fry beef and yellow rice *yum* I will share with calluna should she express a desire to taste the awesomeness. :3

I'm watching an anime, at the moment called Full Moon wo Sagashite and it makes me cry, but i watch it anyway.Something I noticed...that kinda annoys me is when storytellers don't know when to stop story telling. For example there are 52 eps. of said anime. around 47ish? maybe 46ish? there is this huge climactic breakthrough of stuff! And it seems that all has been sorted out, I've got most of my closure, but it's kinda impossible to get complete closure for that show mostly because of some developments that happen around the late 30's eps....anyways...so...we have a CLIMAX....and then about 10 more eps until the show is done???? wha??? I'm watching them in case in the last glistening moments all hell breaksloose all over again, but with a show that has a tendency to be a bit slow moving i doubt much is going to develop between my favorite character and the main character....*sigh* but I will keep my eyes peeled and updated further with perhaps a full review! It's been a while since i did that! I'm kinda excited about it.

The reason for this long post is mostly guilt based, it's been quite a while since i've posted on here, and I'm sorry for anyone who actually reads this thing...most of you who don't see me regularly must think i died or am in traction but this is (happily) not the case. I DO however, want to keep in touch with all of you so in roder to do this better, I'm trying to write more often. yes yes...i know i keep saying that...but this time I WILL DO IT! *determind >.<*

Breaks over back to class peeps!

I walkd down stairs to the basement this morning to pick out my work clothes (today is casual day! YES!) and glanced out the back door and saw that it was SNOWING??!?!?!?!?! *grabs calendar* Nope, i'm not wrong, it's the FIRST DAY OF SPRING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think God didn't get the memo XD

well a happy happy oirish holiday, to ya, happy st. patricks day!

i'm a bit tired so i'll keep it brief.

work tomorrow, not much went on today.

kinda irritated...for reasons i'm too tired to iterate over again.


i'm just pooped haha.

my phone keeps jumbling up my texts!! or i don't get any for a while,a and then a buttload from the last THREE HOURS suddenly start coming outta the woodwork...the thing is retarded but i love my short bus phone. :D

Al's got a "man day" with the guys, he doesn't call it that I do. And I'm glad that he does,it's good for him to be around the guys and to go out and exercise and have fun. He should be back around 4.

Today I'm tired. Tomorro, I need to start making prom appts, and get to confession, and call about work, AND MAYBE hang out with the man, since he's got a half day ^_^ *warms to the idea* ANYWAY, I have to get dressed and brush my hair, so I'll be going now.

Ciao!!

So yesterday was okay..until around 10pm then my life went to hell in an handbasket...i only have myself to blame and honestly, there's alot that could have been avoided....i don't even know why i battled as hard as i do....

maybe I need to listen more and talk less....maybe they're right...maybe...

I'm exhausted and as much as i like going to group i can barely stay awake, i got less than an hours sleep last night and i'm really paying for it today...some days you need to share and some days you need to reflect on the inside....maybe today's one of those days.
I'm counting each excruciating second until i don't have to drag my body up and out to my car and come...here...to this place...i'm sick of it here...i love my friends, i'll miss them, but the more i think about what I can have the less, i want to be here...i want to be off fulfilling my destiny, not stuck here in limbo, forever, looking around going, "every inch of this place pains me" all the memories of my family wrapped up with here have soured my whole outlook on this place...i just want to escape elsewhere...i'd almost take any where else... I say almost b/c now i'm smarter...i know how much MORE there is out there...and i'm desperate to experience it...

my eyes are shutting as i type if i want to make it home safe, i should probably go soon...

i'll call in today...

I'm doing it right now. XD I usually post on here when I get so bored, or the class is just so unbearable that I can't take it anymore. In this class, he just hasn't even started the lecture yet. and he's been speaking for ten minutes..

anyway, I'm feeling happy today. I have a feeling that today will be okay.

I should take notes,
Laters!

I've been sitting staring at the mail slot for at least an hour now. I want to hear back from more of my schools.

YAY! MAIL! Nothing for me, stuff for julian and the parents and *pouts* my bill *sigh*


Maybe tomorro! *perches in front of the mailbox again* O.O..............

Okay so I got a 95 on my pronunciation midterm for medical terminology yesterday (BOO-yah!) and then this morning I rocked my Chinese Civ Midterm (i think/hope/pray) but i feel pretty confident, i know i didn't fail, so yea. *Grin*

I'm in pretty good spirits today, i just hope i don't run out of gas on the way home from school...that would be stressful and an unfortunate turn of events.

Anyway, I said yesterday (yes it WAS yesterday i posted last! Calluna, are you proud XD) anyway i said anyway once, twice now three times before getting to my next point.

I found my prom dress, and hairstyle and like i promised feminaprovita I shall post them both here using my super magical cut powers:

( Read more... )

So yea thats what I'm doing with the outfit, lemme know what you all think ^_^

*yawns* i've gotta work on a paper now so toodles!

Spring break is a week from Friday...i had no idea....i'd completely forgotten about it....

i'm a little frazzled today, I have to take part of my medical terminology midterm today at 1:40 so calluna, if i'm not at the cafe right away that's why, I'll be there...aw crud, u'll just be leaving *pouts* I didn't see you there last week, maybe you skipped in favor of rehersals haha no worries

anyway,

do you see what just happened up there? completely turned around on my train of thought....that's been happening to me all the time, i can't concentrate, i can't focus on important (not that you're not important, calluna, i'm being very general here) things, like homework, schoolwork, chores, I can't remember ANYTHING any more...and it's because I'm honestly frazzled beyond belief....what scares me is that i'm having this problem...and it's not so much that i have to run everywhere and GO ten billion places, it's just handling and organizing my hw schedule, my social schedule and on top of it, my chores/house stuff schedule...and now my prom budget is in full effect. I picked out my dress and I'm going to order it....very soon...um, i think within the next week or so. ANYWAYS, now that that has been put in place i have TONS of things to think about, but no time to think and then when i get in, I'm so wiped out from driving and the slogging through the daily routine that i seriously CAN'T MOVE.

I've been forcing myself to eat healthy and to excercise (if only for a little bit) every day so far.Even that is done with a monumental effort....this insnt like me, not everything is always a battle with myself.

it's exhausting...

i'm exhausted....

anyway I'm tired...i'm gonna rest....

*sigh*

I just did something really stupid...the books i would need to study for the two quizzes i need to retake i left at home accidently....this is not cool...in fact, it is extremely frustrating b/c i was sure i put them in there....can't have one day without somes otr of a ciris huh? the thing is I can't just run ovr to a dorm room to get the books, i'd have to go home, come back and then go home again and would waste all the time i needed to study so the effect on my grades would prolly be exactly the same anyway...*wants to tear her hair out and scream*

i'll just have to google some broad medical terminology and hope it helps a bit with the figuring out of words and stuff...*sigh*......this is why monday's suck...